"Our Boys and Girls" from the April 2, 1904 Door County Democrat
Edited by Maude McDonald Hay.
OUR BOYS AND GIRLS
EDITED BY MAUDE MCDONALD HAY.
This portion beguiled
From the heart of a child
Should be read whenever your soul needs a rest
From its burdens and cares,
And the sorrow it bears;
For the childhood of life is ever the best.
It is not a page
Of the bard, or the sage;
But of children as free as the zephyrs which blow;
Of those in our homes,
Neither angels, nor gnomes,
The babies whose thoughts out of artless winds flow.
As busy as bees,
Or ants 'neath the trees,
From morning 'till night life with fancy is rife:
So read if you will,
Their sweet sayings until
You have deepened and strengthened your own narrow life
Sometimes on the knee,
Again romping in glee,
They have uttered words wiser than wisest men may.
So read as you please,
In home, at your ease,
For these are the children of plain Sturgeon Bay.
Little Ruth had repeatedly heard the slang expressions, "Prunes" and "Rubber-neck." One night after eating a dish of prune sauce of which she was very fond, she said, "I wonder what rubber-necks taste like!"
One day, one of our prominent democratic citizens was walking down the street accompanied by his little girl, three years of age. They met Congressman Minor, who said to the child; "So your papa is a democrat, is he?" "No, sir!" indignantly replied the little tot. "My papa is a good man!" And she accepted two or three republican pins promising to always wear them.
One of our little girls was visiting in the west where loco, a poisonous weed grows. She had been told that if horses and cattle eat it they would become insane. One day she was out in the yard and saw the cow eating of this weed. Running into the house all out of breath she exclaimed: "Mamma, Mamma,' the cow has located!"
A sturdy little chap of four was asked one Sunday morning to bring in some wood. Straightening himself up, with an air of injured innocence, he replied, "Me dassen't bring in wood today, because it's Sunday, and I dassen't work on Sunday."
Little three year old Lucy thought it very nice to be able to button her own shoes. One day having put them on with the buttons on the inside of the foot, her brother called her attention to the fact by saying that she had put her shoes on the wrong feet. She looked up at him, a bewildered expression upon her rosy face, and then said slowly—"They is all the feets I got."
Grandmothers cannot safely make excuses. Recently one of them said that she could not go to church because she had no hat. A few days after her little grandson noticed that a new one had been brought into the house and so he told the whole family that he was so glad that Grandma could now always go to church for she had a hat.
We read in the good Book "That a little child shall lead them." One day one of our Sturgeon Bay fathers, who was suffering from a bad cold, said that he must have some liquor as a stimulant. After partaking of it he handed some to his wife and she offered it to the little one at her knee. Greatly astonished were they to hear her say, "Lead us not into temptation."
It is not always pleasant to be the youngest in a family. A little chap of three who was tired of always having to take his older brothers' clothing as he outgrew them, one day said, "I don't just like the idea of always having to wear the relies of my ancestors."
One of our Scotch poets has said
"O! wad some power the giftie gie us
To see ourselves as ithers see us"
Little three year old John was starting out with his new sled for a slide, when his grandmother, who was quite stout, said, "Won't you take me for ride, John?" Looking her all over for a moment, he replied calmly, "O Grandmother, you would look like sin on the sled."
"Momma, what does o-b-i-t-u-a-r-y spell? asked little six year old. On being told what it was that it spelled, he asked "What kind of a disease is it anyway, everyone who has it dies."
A little tot of four was one day sent for some milk. On being asked how much she wanted she said, "Have you a pint?" No, they did not have a pint. "Well, then I will take a quart if you please."
One of our midgets sat watching some ladies who were wearing long skirts. Turning to her mother, she said, "What do you call those things the women are dragging after them?" She was told that they were called trains. A few days after she was busy looking over some fashion plates and suddenly called out, "O! mamma, here are some more women with cars hitched to them."
A little mite of two upon being scolded by her mamma for running away, interrupted her by saying in a saucy way, and with the evident intent to change the subject into a more cheerful channel, "Nice day, isn't it, mamma?"
Even the Lord's prayer does not always satisfy the faith of a child. One of our little ones whose father had died and whose mother continued the family worship, always closing with the Lord's prayer, quietly followed her mother along until she said, "Give us this day our daily bread," then evidently thinking that her mother had forgotten something, she interrupted her by saying, "and butter too Mamma."
We have in our city a little chap of about two and a half years of age who finds it very easy to cry. One day his grandmother told him that God did not like to hear him cry so much. Soon after as he was about to cry, the servant who was dressing him said, "Now cry!" Blinking back the tears he looked up at her and said, "No, God won't let me."
One two year old mischief put his cap upon his head the wrong way and his mother said, to him, "Turn your cap around, laddie." He turned himself around and looked up, his eyes sparkling with mischief, and said, "How is that, Mamma?"
Once when driving through the country he passed a place where his father had his well drilling machine and the little fellow exclaimed "O, Papa! is that where you drill pumps?"
A tiny miss one day was seated at a table where turkey was being served but she had quite forgotten what to call it. When suddenly the thought came to her of gobblers and turkeys together and she said, "Mamma, please may I have some turkler?"
Stern parent—"Now if you don't stop your noise I'll throw you out of doors." Little three year old—"Please, papa, throw me out of the back door so I will be nearer to Dorothy's."
Scene: A Methodist minister at the home of a Presbyterian minister. Time: Morning worship. Presbyterian minister praying, Methodist minister groaning and, crying "Amen!" Little two and a half year old turns around, doubles up her fist and shakes it at the Methodist minister, crying, "Don't you growl at me!"
That great minds often run in the same channel, and that even among children there is nothing new under the sun, is clearly evidenced by the following anecdote:
Dot was busy in the nursery ironing her dolly's things when she was suddenly interrupted by the nurse coming in. "Why, Massa sakes! don't you know this be Sunday and the Lord's Day? It's a sin to be ironing." Dot perfectly unconcerned replies sweetly, "Don't you suppose the Lord knows this iron isn't hot?" Unconsciously she had uttered the thought of the old poem:
"She was ironing her dolly's best gown.
Maid Marion, four years old.
With her face puckered down
In a painstaking frown,
Under her tresses of gold.
It was Sunday and nurse coming in
Exclaimed in a tone of surprise,
'Don’t you know it's a sin
Any work to begin
On the day that our Lord sanctifies?'
Then lifting her face like a rose,
Thus answered this wise little tot,
'Now don’t you suppose
The good Lord knows
That this little iron ain’t hot?' "
A new Singer sewing machine having arrived at the house, all its inmates were anxiously waiting to see how it sewed. When the machine started, little three year old sat very still for about fifteen minutes, then she said: "Why Mama, why doesn't it sing?"
Heard in the nursery: "Mamma, why doesn't the good Lord make us big in the first place and save us the trouble of growing?"
A little miss of three is studying her letters. She came one day to the letter "M" and not recognizing it asked her mamma what it was. "Who lives across the road?" said mamma. "Why Em," replied the child. Then regarding the letter in silence for a moment she said, "But, mamma, where is her feet?"
A five year old seeing a negro for the first time comes running to his mother. "Why doesn't that man out there wash his face?" "It wouldn't do any good, Child." "Not even with soap, mother?" "No." "Not if he should use a half barrel of soft soap?" "No, that is his natural color." "Well, is he black clear through?"
While out driving last spring little Helen noticed the large clusters of white blossoms on the mountain ash trees and cried: "O, Mamma! it's time to make your mustard pickles. See all the cauliflower on the trees!"
When out for a ride on a very cold day the runners of the cutter creaked as they passed over the icy road and Helen remarked, "Nellie (the horse) must have new shoes on, just hear 'em squeak!"
This same wise little girl was one day invited out to dinner and while eating her salted peanuts said, "Why they taste just like my tears, salty."
There is a queer German character in Sturgeon Bay who sometimes finds his way into the jail. He is well known by the strong tendency he has to palaver. This strong characteristic he does not lose even under confinement. One Sunday morning the two little children of our sheriff went down to visit the prisoners, and our German friend upon seeing the little girl, exclaimed, "See the little beauty! God bless the little beauty, who does she take after, her pa, or her ma?"
The little boy looked up into his mother's face and said, "He doesn't mean that, Mamma. He only wants some more sauerkraut for dinner. He always used to give me a penny and tell me to ask you to cook sauerkraut."
The mother also then understood her little boy's sudden fondness for sauerkraut.
A tiny chap was one day riding with his parents when they passed a flock of sheep. This flock was like the proverbial one, they were all white but one. Suddenly they all began to blat. The little fellow jumped up crying, "O! they are all laughing at that black one!"
When he was two years of age in going to church with his parents he saw a butterfly. When told what it was he exclaimed, "O! that's where we get our butter, is it?"
The following is a facsimile copy of a letter written by a little four year old to his mother:
Sturgeon Bay, Wis., Feb. 8th, 1902.
Dear Mamma
We just received your letter. I am having very much fun. Grandma says I am the dearest little boy on earth. Stanley and Harry are sleeping in the little north room now. Stanley and I were over to Uncle Harry's last night, so that Stanley could practice his lesson and we found Julia Nelson there and I asked her if she was Uncle Harry's wife. now
Goodby
Lloyd.
The other day one of our ladies accompanied by her little son went to call upon a baby, recently arrived. The mother of the baby said to the little fellow, "How would you like to marry my daughter?" Not wishing in any way to commit himself to such a thing he replied, "I'll have to see first how she turns out?"
There is an old proverb which says that children and fools speak the truth. The other day a Sturgeon Bay father said to his little son, "Now if I give your mamma a fifty dollar bill, and a twenty dollar bill what would she have?" Unhesitatingly the little fellow replied, "A fit,"
One of our public school urchins said the other day to his mother, "I don't think my teacher knows very much, she asked me to spell cat."
At the time of the advent of a baby brother a little four year old was staying with his grandmother. At bedtime he knelt to say his prayers asking God to bless his papa, his mamma, and himself. Then stopping he hesitated a moment. "I suppose, Grandma, I'll have to ask God to bless that new baby too, but I wish he hadn't come for I had enough praying to do before."
One of our physicians has a large family of boys. His little four year old son was one day reckoning them up. The oldest was first, the next second, and so on until he came to himself and "I'm last. Mamma, what does last mean?" The mother did not reply" at once trying to think of an easy explanation. "O! I know," said the little fellow. "It means that Ed will go first and Bob second and so on until there's no one left but me and I'll be last."
One evening a mother was out walking with her little boy and she noticed him gazing intently at the half moon but he said nothing. A few weeks later they were out again when the moon was full. Looking up at it, the little fellow exclaimed, "Mamma, where is the broken moon?"
Vera, three and a half years old, was busy at some mischief one day and her mother said to her, "Vera, if I were you I wouldn't do that.' Instantly she replied,' "Yes, but you're not me."
One night while saying her prayers she said, "God bless papa and mamma, and God bless God."
The small five year old son of one of our ministers was one Saturday night receiving his bath at his father's hands. Of course the father was thinking of his sermon for the following day and turned on the hot water while the little fellow stood in the tub. "Papa!" he cried at last, "turn off the hot water." Bur the father was buried in deep and solemn thought. At last in desperation the little fellow called out, "Papa, don't you know what the Bible says that 'to obey is better than sacrifice,' and if you don't turn that water off right quick you'll sacrifice me."
One of our little girls is exceedingly fond of Bible stories and has learned the names of most of the characters. One evening at the supper table this knowledge was of great benefit to her. Upon the table was some ham of which she was very fond. But not being able to think of its name: she said, "Please Melanie, give me some of Shem's brother."
Heard in the Kindergarten on a late Autumn morning. Miss M.—"Genevieve, what did you see upon the sidewalk this morning?" Genevieve (delightedly)—"Jack Frost." Miss M. —"And what did you see Curtis?" Curtis—"Jack Frost and he painted all the briers and sidewalks and everything all white."
Miss M. (Somewhat later during Circle talk)—"John, can you tell me the first thing which you saw on the sidewalk this morning?" John (smiling confidently)—"Deaht (dirt) Miss Maree."
(An overheard conversation). First little boy, "I tell you my Pa is a big man, he can do most everything. Second little boy, "Well, he ain't so big as m pa, for my pa can beat yours 'cause Grandpa lives in Washington and he's an awful big man, can do anything most." Third little boy, "O! you just quit now for my pa is sheriff and he could just shut up both of your pas in jail."
Four year old Sam very often rode out with his mother, who drove one horse. One day he went with his father who had two horses hitched to a wagon, and made the remark, "Mamma doesn't ride in a wagon with only one leg." Upon being questioned he pointed to the pole as the "one leg" and said, "Mamma's buggy has two legs."
Dorothy at the age of two had a bright blue dress which gave her great pleasure. One day she was listening to a conversation about colors for dresses and asked, "Mamma, what color is my blue dress?"
One evening she was kneeling in her papa's lap the light being situated so that the shadow of her head fell upon his face. She saw the shadow, flitting here and there, and asked, "Papa, does my shadow hurt your eyes?"
There had been a terrible epidemic of diphtheria in one of the larger cities of Wisconsin, and two little maidens, now living in Sturgeon Bay, suffered from the dread disease and were for weeks under quarantine. As they began to recover they greatly missed their playmates and asked their mother, "Why Cora and Susie didn't come any more to play."
She replied that there was a blue card on the front door which said, "Diphtheria," and that meant, "No child dare enter."
The card became a most alarming thing in their eyes and it was with unspeakable joy that they hailed the advent of the "sulphur man," who came to fumigate the house, and bear away the obnoxious warning.
A few days later they started out, as had been their custom before their sickness, bearing a note from their Mother to the butcher, asking him to give them a pound and a half of steak, and to take his pay from their purse which contained twenty-five cents.
The children were very proud to be allowed to help in the marketing; and as the meat market was only two blocks above their home, and they were usually gone only a few minutes, their mother was always glad to send them out into the fresh air.
But this particular morning a half hour passed and they had not returned. Their mother began to feel very uneasy and ran out to look up the street. Her children were not in sight. Thinking that the market might have been full, and they, in consequence, obliged to wait she let ten minutes more pass, and then put on her hat to go in search of them. Rushing out of the house she spied them corning up the street from the opposite direction in which she had sent them.
"O! children!" she exclaimed. "Why did you frighten me so! Where have you been?" Both began to reply at once. "Mamma, we did go to our own market, but they had scarlet fever there, and the red card said, "No child dare enter," and we had to go miles to find another market; for you had to have the meat, didn't you, Momma?
"Scarlet fever in the meat market!" exclaimed the mother in astonishment.
"Yes, Mamma, yes, sure, come and see the card your own self."
Quickly she went with them, they insisting upon taking the opposite side of the street so as to avoid the faintest breath of contagion.
When they reached the market they pointed triumphantly to the scarlet card. There was no doubt as to its being there, in plain sight; but instead of "Scarlet Fever", the big letters read, "Fresh Oysters In Bulk."
One of our small boys sometimes forgot to say "thank you" when he received something, and was told by his Mother not to forget but to say "thank you" right away. At the very next opportunity he hastened to say, "I thank you right away."
Courtesy of the Door County Library Newspaper Archive
["O! wad..." is from https://www.bbc.co.uk/arts/robertburns/works/to_a_louse/
Massa sakes is slang, meaning, for the sake of the master of the house"]
The poem about ironing is "Marion’s Answer.": https://s3.amazonaws.com/truthunity/assets/pubs/weekly-unity/vol01/weekly-unity-1909-07-24.pdf
Definitions of palaver: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/palaver ]
Articles relating to children:
https://doorcounty.substack.com/t/children